When the Gales of November Come Early

The ocean is churning, winds are howling, waves are crashing under myriad shades of gray clouds hurling across the sky.

Yep, and that’s all happening inside our heads.

The gales of November often come early when we dread the holiday season. “It’s here! It’s here!” that voice in our minds is yelling, like a warning, way before Thanksgiving week.

Then most of us automatically shift into Over-extend Mode. We over-plan, over-buy, over-commit, over-stress.

Why?

Generally, because of Programmed Lessons that reside in our heads. “Shoulds” that we inherited from our Moms, grandmas, teachers… we should cook a perfect turkey dinner, we should attend every party to which we’re invited (you don’t want to miss anything!), we should buy gifts for all our relatives, WE should be sure everyone has everything they want and need. Lots of pressure, isn’t it?

Now that you no longer live with your ex, since you left that abusive relationship, some “shoulds” are reduced or eliminated…some are even stronger.

Guilt, for one, is probably extremely strong. The “shoulds” (the gale winds of November!) that include happy family gatherings, joyful time together, a gift laden floor underneath the perfect tree…those images, those shoulds, are not good. Most…