The “Me, too” Campaign: what do you think about it

By Mickie Zada

You have probably typed in “Me, too” on face book…maybe on several sites. It’s the community/societal response to the Harvey Weinstein story of sexual harassment. Have you noticed how many women, (your friends, sisters, co-workers) have typed “Me, too”. Nearly everyone!

The “Me, too” campaign is hopefully the beginning of a ground swell of recognition; bringing the topic of sexual harassment and abuse to the forefront of thought, recognition and acceptance.

Do you think it’s going to work?

Harvey Weinstein is forever linked to the words sexual harassment, assault, sex for promotion and jobs. Yes, that’s a horrible legacy, wouldn’t you think? Nothing is “proven” yet. But the evidence is pretty compelling. If I were Harvey Weinstein, I’d be ashamed and be looking for a hole to climb into, or, a country to which I could hop on my private jets and emigrate, where no one knows who I am.

Unfortunately, I doubt that’s the case. I’m betting that some of his guy-friends are calling to say “Wow, buddy…too bad this has blown up on you. YOU don’t deserve this”. Or, “Maaaannnn, everyone knows this is how Hollywood works. Why are these women making such a fuss?” Or, “Those women knew the score…they could have said “No!” but they wanted the acting parts, they wanted to be Stars. You were their vehicle to fame and fortune”.

Those friends would be speaking Their Truth. I think they are also speaking Societies’ Truth.

Weinstein’s behavior was, no doubt, well known In Hollywood circles for many, many years. He was a rich and powerful man. He used his power and notoriety to manipulate and abuse women. Harvey Weinstein was not the first man to behave aggressively and with damaging intent toward women.

Remember Wilt Chamberlain’s famous book, The View From Above, back in 1991, I think. The tremendously skilled and famous, 7’1” basket ball player claimed to have slept with 20,000 women. 20,000! I don’t recall women claiming payment for their participation…mostly I recall people calculating just how many times a day Wilt the Stilt would have had to had sex to reach such an astounding number of conquests.

You can think of many other men whose negative treatment of women is legendary; famous politicians, entertainers, powerful businessmen, clergy … and within small circles, even in small towns, local predators are somewhat enshrined; football captains at the local high school, fraternity guys, factory workers and car salesmen.

Why?

Sexual conquest was and is part of our society. There are many, many other incidents of abuse reported. They make the headlines, a flash in the pan. It’s been less than 25 days since the sexual assault allegations against media mogul Harvey Weinstein exploded into public view, and the fury has already begun to dwindle.

This story is no longer frontpage, top-of-the-crease “news”.

This story is News…but now it’s really Old News. The accusations are being investigated; we lose interest in the investigation. Negativity and he-said/she-said sells news. Investigations are not so sexy.

The fact remains that women are abused, physically, sexually, financially and emotionally every single day. We find ourselves placed in situations where “NO!” was heard as “well, maybe…”, and “they” win in court because we wore a pair of short-shorts, recently dated “too many” men or flirted.

Gaining parts in Hollywood, becoming famous, apparently still carries with it a play-book that includes what used to be called “the casting couch”. After the fact, I can imagine these guys slapping each other on the backs, asking for details, laughing and celebrating. Non-consensual sex is apparently still exciting to some men. Harvey Weinstein’s reported behavior is not an anomaly.

Those men are predators. Men who hear “maybe” when women say “NO!” are predators. And, they apparently get the message from somewhere that their behavior is OK.

We’ve all heard the stories. We are guilty of not standing strong and saying “Enough!”

Yes, it’s like fighting City Hall. Change is slow to evolve. Women got the right to vote in 1920. We HAVE come a long way, baby. Accusations against Harvey Weinstein show how much further we have to go!

Please, choose to join the conversation. Abuse is real, and we don’t have to live with it!

Go ahead and type “Me, too” on face book. It’s a start. Tell your story, or as much of it as you’re comfortable with. Support women you know who are living in abuse…who are experiencing sexual, emotional, physical harassment at work or at home. Listen, believe and support.

If we continue hiding, being afraid of ramifications someone else might experience by speaking our truth, then nothing is going to change. The abusers will continue to do what they do.

I know that what I’m suggesting is frightening…I know that it feels like we are “outing” our partners or bosses when we tell dare to speak our truth. I’m not encouraging anyone to do anything that will put them in danger, physical or otherwise. Stay safe and don’t let anyone encourage you to do anything you are not comfortable with…whether that is staying with an abuser, leaving or telling the truth.

As you can, speak your truth. Join the conversation: Abuse is real and we don’t have to live with it.