3 Ways to Avoid Eating All 36 Cookies at Once
By Mickie Zada
When I first left my abuser, I was prone to get up out of bed at 2 a.m., get dressed, grab my car keys and drive to the nearest 24-hour store (4 miles) to get a donut. I only allowed myself to buy 1 because if I bought more, they’d all be gone by the time I got home. Not proud of this fact, but it was my reality.
Once, I received a huge box of Ghirardelli chocolates as a gift from a co-worker. I immediately decided to re-gift the beautifully decorated box of blood-sugar-skyrocketing lusciousness. Instead I ended up opening the box and eating a few. Realizing I was on a roll, I locked the box of chocolates inside my car and locked to door to the garage, to keep from eating more of the melt in your mouth, stress-reducing, goodness.
A neighbor used to bake 36 beautiful, evenly sized, soft and delicious chocolate chip cookies (3 dozen!!) and eat only 1. She had no inclination to eat more than one…she gave the rest to a neighbor family’s six kids. Me? At times, I’d have eaten all 36 cookies before you could say “neighbor family’s 6 kids”!
I don’t always lack willpower. I’m not overweight. My personality and self-control are not always that of a grizzly bear. Just sometimes.
My Grizzly Bear
My grizzly bear dramatically appeared when I was first divorced, the very first time I’d ever lived by myself, when only my son and my best friend knew where I lived, when I was stressed, fearful, endured shaky confidence and belief in myself, and it was the holidays.
Do you have a grizzly living in your psyche? It can do a lot of damage, if we don’t take control; if we allow her to plunder and pillage through our minds and hearts.
Truthfully? I’m fairly well programmed as a stress-eater. The grizzly does still show up once in a while. First, I feel her heavy foot-steps in my mind. I begin doubting decisions, feeling guilty about leaving my ex, breaking up the family. I feel guilty about staying with my abuser so long, forcing my son to endure his Dad’s anger. “You could have left!!!” I hear myself lament, when the grizzly bear is around. Soon she’s treading across my heart. And then I eat a whole bag of popcorn, or get in the car at 2 a.m.
Do these descriptions resonate with you? I bet we’ve all been there. You are not alone.
Here’s the thing, the grizzly bear is part of me…and part of you. It’s the part that is un-resolved. It’s showing itself to remind us that our in-side work is not complete. I’m thinking mine never will be, and that’s OK. Love of learning is one of my signature traits…rather than beat myself up for re-doing a lesson, I embrace the opportunity and begin, again, to resolve the emotions attached to the grizzly.
Until there is no more need, the grizzly and the stress eating will remain a part of my Life. The Key is to recognize the signs, use a smile exercise to change my emotion and create a new thought pattern…stop beating myself up and focus on how far I’ve come.
Here are 3 suggestions.
- Recognize the Signs
I feel especially vulnerable during the holidays. My Programmed Lesson is that it’s my responsibility to be sure every one is happy, all their needs are met and they get everything they want for Christmas. Everyone must receive a gorgeous Easter basket. Fourth of July includes mountains to sparklers and small fire works.
My Mom taught me those Programmed Lessons. Our family didn’t have much money, so even though we didn’t have all our needs met or get everything we wanted for Christmas, Mom somehow continued the charade. A lot of guilt was created for her in that process. She taught me the tricks of the trade…the tricks of the seasons. See how Programmed Lessons work? My grandma probably taught Mom. Generation to generation.
Learn to recognize when those emotions and the resulting actions are happening. My heart begins to feel heavy. My mind starts beating me up. I am on the verge of tears for no visible reason. And, I eat…chocolate, most of the time.
Now I know how to recognize, address and change the process. My life is less stressed and I eat fewer cookies, candy and donuts!
Recognizing and choosing to address and change Programmed Lessons works all year long…not just during the holidays.
2. The Smile Exercise
What is the quickest way to change our energy? Smiling. Everyone can do it. Smiling and feeling good is a choice.
When I feel the grizzly bear of fear, loneliness, frustration or anger begin her trek into my emotions, I choose to smile and repeat a positive statement, a mantra. A “Smile Thought” I call it. While smiling (a real smile, not a fake one!) repeat in your mind a short sentence. I like saying “I feel the bear and I release you to the wilderness. My heart and mind are calm and happy” or “I am in control of my emotions and actions. I choose to feel relaxed and joyful”. Sometimes I just think and smile “Life is Good!”
Repeat your Smile Thought 21 times. It might help to look into a mirror and smile at yourself. Feel your positive energy grow, feel the warmth of your love and your smile. Repeat the process as often as you can…8 or 10 times a day.
This is a practice you can even use at work…feeling pressure? Use the Smile Thought in your mind. Nobody knows and you’ll feel better.
Using the Smile Thought process will help avert the need to fill our emotional holes with food. We learn to fill them with light, smiles, good emotional responses.
3. Stop Beating Yourself Up
We talk more angrily and judgmentally toward ourselves than we do toward anyone else. We say meaner things and we cut ourselves less slack than we do our friends or family. You would not likely say to your best friend the things you do to yourself.
When we judge ourselves, we create guilt and negativity in our lives. Thoughts create emotions create action. When our thoughts are negative, our actions are, too. See how that works?
When our thoughts and emotions are based in fear and sadness, our actions are not healthy. This is when we tend to eat all 36 cookies…one after the other!
Sometimes I am so tough on myself I come to a stand-still. I become unable to write, to think clearly, to make decisions. Sometimes I allow my judgmental thoughts to undermine my Self. I lose confidence in everything.
When I find myself thinking or even saying out loud “OH Mickie, why did you say THAT??” and the memory is from last week, or 30 years ago! Sometimes I shudder at the thought of an action I took, or an interaction with a friend or co-worker that I now regret. Then I head toward the kitchen.
Bottom line: we can’t change the past. We are not Superman, who flew around the Earth to turn time back. We are not Marty McFly and can’t go “Back to the Future”.
We can change our responses to thoughts that we allow to invade our minds, disrupting our happiness.
The Smile Thought process that you just learned is a great way to stop the process of beating ourselves up.
I also use “Cancel-Cancel”.
When I discover my mind has taken off in a negative direction, I say out loud “Cancel-Cancel!” That simple statement tells my sub-conscious mind, and the Universe, that I didn’t mean to think or say those words. It’s sorta like slurping them back into my mouth…which doesn’t work, of course, but it does negate their power. Sort of like magic. Give it a try.
There you go, 3 ways to avoid eating all 36 cookies. I’ve used them lots of times not to get into the car to buy a donut in the middle of the night.
I know these 3 suggestions work. I’ve used them…all year around, not just at the holidays. When you feel the thundering of your grizzly bear on your mind and heart, you have tools to send her away.
